My Secret Hero
by bluebell87
Summary: Janeway takes Tom Paris to try to find Chakotay and his missing men, but what she doesn't know is the history between them. What will happen when they finally see eachother again after so long. Plz be kind, first star trek story
1. Chapter 1

Paris was walking home from a party when it happened. A brown sack was pulled over his head and his arms and legs were bound. What was going on? Was this another prank from his dorm mates? He didn't have much time to think about it as he was knocked unconscious.

When he woke up he was in a dark cave somewhere. He could hear the rhythmic sea pounding against the walls, but he could not see anything. At first he thought he was alone, but then he heard voices. They were talking about something, but they were to far away for him to hear. Suddenly there was a light in his eyes as one of the voices shone a torch in his direction.

"Oh look, the golden boy's awake. Poor little rich shit, what is he gonna do?" to this the other voice started laughing.

"Now his father's not here he's just a stupid defenceless baby. Shall we continue with the plan now? Or after we've eaten?"

"Now I think" They turned and slowly walked towards him, until he could make out their shape, yet still not see them because the torch was still in his eyes. At that moment he tried to talk, only to find he couldn't; his mouth was taped up.

They kept coming closer, smirking wickedly before they finally reached him. He looked up pleadingly, his eyes asking for his release, but realising it was pointless as the first blow struck. After that it was just a relentless torrent of kicks to his abdomen and face, before he finally passed out.

This continued for the next few days and his captures started to get sloppy. The didn't give him any food but they let him drink from a nearby puddle. At first when they had removed the tape covering his mouth he had tried to plead for mercy, promising the kidnappers money and freedom, but it soon because apparent that they weren't interested.

After that he realised there was no point even trying to make contact with them, so instead he watched carefully from the shadows, and tried to undermine them in any way he could. At first he attempted to free his hands, but he found that they were bound with thin strips of steal, and so could not be broken without a phaser. He next tried to undo the tape across his mouth, using his tongue to pry it from his lips, only every time he got close it would then be time for his drink, so they would re-do the tape anyway.

After hours of unsuccessful escape attempts he gave up, preferring instead to try and work out why he had been taken in the first place.

He had lost track of time. He had no idea why he was there; and he didn't know how to get away. He was starving and he was losing hope. As usual his captures arrived at a time, though which time Tom had no idea. The torch was back in his eyes as prevention from him working out their identity.

They were only half way towards him when he realised something was wrong. They had been walking slower than usual, but Tom just figured that they were getting tired of beating him every day.

Before he could understand what was happening there was a cry from one of the men and a thump as he hit the ground. The other man was looking about him bewildered. At this point Tom's hunger meant he could hardly concentrate, but he though it weird that the man didn't run for cover, preferring to just stand there. Again Tom heard a cry and a thud as the second man crumpled to the ground, a peaceful look upon his face.

Tom looked about, confusion plastered on his face. A tall dark man walked into his view. He had short cut black hair and a strange tattoo above his right eyebrow. He looked about twenty years old, and was just wearing some loose fitting swimming shorts. He walked right up to Tom and ripped the tape from his face. Tom would've cried in pain, but before he knew what was happening a half eaten sandwich was shoved in his mouth. As he slowly tried to chew, the man took out a Starfleet issue phaser and shot through the wire around his limbs.

Once that was done and he had finished his sandwich he tried to talk to the man, but his throat was to dry to get a word out. He stumbled over to the puddle and took a deep drink. The man followed him over and sat down next to him.

Tom looked up at him and noticed him gazing back at him. Strangely Tom couldn't look away from the man. He looked so strong and powerful, yet his eyes had such a natural touch to them, as if they could belong to a forest, not a human. At least Tom thought he was human, he didn't really know because of the lack of light. As Tom watched the man a small smile crossed his face, and he held out his hand.

"I'm Chakotay" He said with a rich voice.

"Tom Paris" Tom replied, a slight blush crossing his face which Chakotay missed.

"Can you walk? We need to get out of here before anyone else comes."

"I-I think I can." Tom tried to stand but lost his balance. He was just about to hit the ground when Chakotay caught him. "Maybe I can't"

Chakotay give a deep laugh and, in one move, picked Tom up and held him close to him as he started to run. They emerged from the cave onto a beautiful golden beach and turned to head North. Tom didn't see where they were going as the sudden human contact and warmth, along with the food and water sent him into a deep stupor.

When he came round he was being carried into a building that he soon recognised as Starfleet Academy. People were turning and watching as they passed; many emitting cries of "Thank God he's OK" or "Is that Tom Paris? I heard he was dead". Tom wrapped his arms around Chakotay's neck and nuzzled into his shoulder, much to Chakotay's amusement.

They passed through a couple of doors and into a hall that Tom recognised as belonging to the medical department. They kept walking until they entered the sick bay, where a bunch of doctors ran over to them.

"Is that Tom Paris? Who are you and what have you done to him? Quick, someone call security and Admiral Paris!"

"Excuse me, but I did nothing. I found Mr Paris in a cave, bound and beaten. I gave him food and water and brought him back here." Chakotay was getting cross and Tom could feel it. He whispered in his ear.

"Thank you Chakotay. Thank you" Before he knew what he was doing his subtly kissed Chakotay on the cheek so no-one could notice. He then released his arms and fell onto a bed that a nurse had placed beneath them and let the doctor's crowd around him, trying to heal him and protect him from the stranger.

Chakotay didn't expect the kiss, but didn't react to it. Instead he walked over to a chair and sat down, waiting for the security to come. As the doctors inspected him they were shocked to find all the fractured ribs and bruising. They were also disgusted that he had been starved.

The doors to the infirmary were slammed open and Admiral Paris burst in. At first he looked at his son, but soon turned to glare at the man he believed to have taken him. "You son of a bitch! Why did you do this to him?" He surged towards Chakotay before he was restrained by the security men who had followed him in.

"As I have already explained to the doctors I had nothing to do with your son's disappearance. I simple rescued him and brought him back, and I'm sure he will back that statement up." At that Admiral Paris turned to go ask the doctors what was wrong with his son. After a long conversation with one of them he went and sat down. 

For Tom time suddenly went by very quickly. He was healed by the doctors, and was then asked some questions. He backed Chakotay's statement up and told them everything he could remember. Chakotay took them to the caves to search them but Tom's captures were never found. 

After a while Tom was released and tried to find Chakotay but couldn't locate him. When he asked his father where he was the admiral didn't know either, but didn't really care. Tom never found Chakotay.

When he went back to school he had changed. He stopped trying to impress people and working so hard. Instead he partied a lot and got a bad reputation. After a year of this he had pretty much lost all his friends and his father, but Tom didn't care. He couldn't. All he could think about was "when will they come back for me? When will he come back for me?"

And that's how it all began.


	2. Chapter 2

My secret hero

My secret hero

It had been six months since the kidnapping. Tom had stayed in hospital for just over a week before the doctor would let him out. As soon as he had been released from the hospital he had raced to see his father. He found him leaning over his desk reading a touch pad. Tom managed to sneak up behind his father before he reached over and hugged him.

Admiral Paris was startled to find his son clinging onto him but he had a huge grin on his face. Once he had managed to release himself from the boy's grip he turned to face him, and smiled again, this time a warm, relieved smile. When he had been sent the video of his kidnapped son being beaten it had broken his heart, and he had thought he might never see his son again. But here he was, and most surprisingly he was ecstatic!

"Why are you so happy?" He asked Tom.

"Because it feels like I've just been released from prison! I'm Free!!" He shouted at the top of his voice.

"Well I'm certainly glad you're OK, but I think we need to talk. I know you've been officially debriefed, but no one has told me what happened, and with all the after events everyone forgot about my briefing!" As he said that he almost sounded like a put off three year old, sulking about not being the centre of attention. Tom was so caught up with laughing at the man, that he almost missed the meaning behind his words.

"Wait a second, after events? Did they catch the guys?"

Paris looked at his son, and realisation suddenly dawned on his face. "You mean no one told you?"

At the confused look Tom was sending him he knew this to be true. "Tom, I don't know how to tell you this, but the man that rescued you, Chakotay…he was a spy. He used you to infiltrate Starfleet head quarters. Before we knew what he had done he had walked off with half our military database. We think it was him who organised your kidnapping in the first place…"

Tom stood completely still and watched as his world fell apart. His father kept talking, telling him all about the Marque tricks the man had used to get past their security, but Tom wasn't listening. He was to busy thinking about what his father had already said.

Being in hospital had given him a lot of time to think things over, and the more he thought about his ordeal the more he had come to hate whoever had organised it and be eternally thankful to Chakotay for rescuing him, but to now find out that his kidnapper and his hero were suspected to be the same person hurt beyond belief. His father told him that the entire thing had been hushed up as Starfleet didn't want it to become public knowledge that all the specifications for their latest ships, and all their mission plans had been taken right from under their noses, and drilled the cover story into him. Any talk about Tom had been hushed up. The official story was that he had gotten into a fight with some Klingons and they had left him at the bottom of a cliff a few miles from the academy, but very few people actually knew this. Quickly rumors spread that Tom had just got drunk and fallen asleep somewhere, and so that became the common assumption. Tom wasn't too happy about this story but at the time he couldn't be bothered to argue. A couple of days later he was back to learning, and was in a physics class when there was an explosion. Before he knew what was happening the explosion had knocked him off his feet, making him drop the vial of chemicals he was holding which shattered, glass flying everywhere. The next thing he knew he was waking up in the hospital with a hell of a headache and a lot of doctors around him, with his father.

"D-dad? What happened?" he asked.

"Tom, this is very important. What is the last thing you remember?"

Tom was slightly worried about the look in his father's eyes. He thought back to before he woke up and found things were a bit blurry. After a moment or two he managed to reply. "I was at a party. I was walking back and then…then I woke up here." He looked up just in time to see the sorrow in his father's eyes, before the man turned away and started talking quietly to one of the doctors. After a minute he walked back over and simply said "You were in an explosion. There's no serious damage, except you have some minor memory loss. A report of your recent activities will be sent to you," and with that he left the room, Tom gaping after him that memory loss didn't count as serious damage!

A couple of hours later he was released to his quarters where he found the report waiting for him. He sat down and started reading it.

His eyes widened in disbelief. According to the report he had recently got into a fight with some Kilngons after getting drunk at a party. He couldn't believe he had gotten drunk! He had always been really careful in the past, but this being an official report it had to be true. He thought back to his father and realised that what he had seen in his eyes but have been betrayal, or something similar.

Instantly he was trying to call his father, but the admiral didn't answer. "Maybe he's in a meeting," he thought, but he had a feeling that his father was just trying to avoid him. He continued to try to call him for the rest of the day, but still the man refused to take his calls. The next day he turned up out side the admirals quarters, only to be told that his father had left for a meeting a couple of minutes ago.

For the next few days he couldn't reach his father, and he felt absolutely miserable. He couldn't believe that he could have done something so bad that it had alienated his father so much, but obviously he must have. Five days after he had woken up he finally managed to see his father.

The man looked awful. He obviously hadn't slept well recently, and from the smell of things he hadn't been washing either. His normally brown skin seemed pale and limp, as it hung from his frail seeming body. His hair seemed greyer than normal, and his eyes had lost their soft twinkle.

Tom stood and watched his father for several minutes before finally asking what was wrong with the man.

"I've just been under a lot of stress recently, OK?"

Tom hadn't been expecting such a blunt reply, and would have sworn that he heard some blame in the man's voice. Tom felt sure that he must have been to one putting stress on his father, and his heart ached.

"Father, what ever I did I'm really sorry! Please forgive me?"

The admiral looked over, eyes wide with horror! He couldn't believe his son thought he was to blame for his stress. The truth was that Starfleet had been asking a lot of questions about how one man had managed to infiltrate one of the supposedly most secure facilities in the quadrant. When his son awoken with no memory of the recent events he had decided that it would cause the boy less suffering to believe the official story of what had happened to him, instead of the truth, and so having done this he had been avoiding his son because he felt guilty about his deception, but now he realised that his son thought he was angry with him, and truth be told if Tom had actually done what the reports said he had he would be angry. Having come to that decision he turned to his son once more and told him to leave, acting the furious father.

As Tom walked out he could almost feel his world collapsing around him. His heart was breaking and him mind was working over time trying to work out why he had done such a stupid thing. His fathers rejection pushed him over the edge and before he knew what he was doing he was sitting in the corner of a bar getting completely drunk.

For the rest of his school year he visited this pub almost every night. Slowly his teachers and friends started to notice a difference in him, but by the time they confronted him it was to late.

He had changed.

He no longer cared about Starfleet, or making his father proud. Now, all that he could think about was having fun.

The academy notified his father of his behaviour, and his father had him shipped off to another country, where he was training to be a pilot. Then one day he and his squad were on a space flight and something went wrong.

Someone died, and it was his fault.

Before this it may still have been possible to save him, but this last act destroyed all shreds of the man he was, and now in his place stood a sly, careless being, wracked with grief so strong that it drove him to destroy everything he had worked for. He was quickly booted out of Starfleet. He made his way for a while in little jobs, but he was not satisfied.

His father tried contacting him, but he didn't want to see the man. Deep down inside him he still couldn't bear to see the look of disappointment in his eyes.

Quickly he fell into the wrong crowd, and before he knew what was happening he had been shipped into the Marquis as a pilot, but he was happy because he was flying again. He met a lot of people, including a very feisty Klingon Human hybrid, and and weird man named Chakotay, who kept giving him weird looks.

Even though these people did not like the federation, they had heard of tom's dishonourable discharge, and many of them did not trust him, but he didn't care. He made a living with these people for a short while- a very short while, because on his first mission he was arrested. He got shipped to a high security prison, where he stayed for almost a year before one captain Catherine Janeway came knocking.

She offered him an easy ticket out of there, and all he had to do was betray a load of people. How could he have said no? It's not like the people he was betraying were ever very nice to him, so why shouldn't he be able to get out? It didn't take him long to persuade his conscience that it should just shut up.

He had quickly been dispatched and found himself walking the promenade of Deep Space nine.

He was conscious to the fact that people kept looking at him, or walking around him, but he was used to it, after all no one likes a killer. He had grown used to that. The way none of his friends would talk to him, or people in the streets would spit in his direction. Sometimes it got him down, but mainly it didn't bother him.

He found himself at a bar- surprise surprise- and was just in time to save an ensign from buying some useless stones. He realised that the man didn't know who he was, and so thought it would be stupid to tell him if he might actually be his friend for a while.

He then made him way to Voyager, along with Harry Kim, the young ensign from the bar. They went srtaught to sickbay, where Tom incountered him first hostility from the doctor. Kim stood behind him, obviously confused, and after they left he asked Tom what that had been about.

"It's a long story Harry, and I'm tired of telling it. I'm sure someone will tell you before long."

Tom was very annoyed that his friendship would be ending so soon, but he knew that as soon as Harry found out the truth he would treat him just the same as everyone else did."

They went to great the captain, and Tom was happy to see that she at least was treating him like a person, which is more than could be said about the first officer.

Tom spent the next few hours on the bridge, with everyone treating him like he had the bolian flu. Finally the captain let him leave so he went to the mess hall, where he got into an argument with the replicators. When he turned around he saw a certain doctor talking to Harry. He walked over and the doctor left, leaving him with Harry.

"There, you see? I told you it wouldn't take long." He sat down.

"Is it true?" Harry asked, a look of dread on his face.

"Was the accident my fault? Yes. Pilot error. But it took me a while to admit it." He took a drink of his soup. "Euck. 14 varieties and they can't even get plain tomato soup right."

"They say you falsified reports."

"That's right."

"Why?"

"What's the difference? I lied"

"But then you came forward and you admitted it was your fault?"

Tom had had enough. "I'll tell you the truth Harry. All I had to do was keep my mouth shut and I was home free. But I couldn't. The ghosts of those three dead officers came to me in the middle of the night and taught me the true meaning of Christmas. So I confessed. Worst mistake I ever made, but not my last" The truth was that a small part of the decent Tom had survived, and had made him come forwards.

"After they cashiered me out of Starfleet I went out looking for a figh, and I found the Maquis. And on my first assignment I was caught." Tom was turning bitter at having to reminisce once again, knowing that he was losing the only friend he had made in a long time.

"It must have been especially tough for you, as the son of an admiral." It almost sounded as if Harry was sympathising with him, but Tom didn't get his hopes up. It was much more likely that he was being sarcastic.

"Frankly I think it was tougher on my father than it was on me." Tom stood up, and started walking away, before stopping and turning to Harry once more. "Look, I know those guys told you to stay away from me. And you know what? You ought to listen to them. I'm not exactly a good luck charm." Tom walked away again, knowing that, although it had hurt him to do it, Harry was better off without him as a friend.

Suddenly Harry said "I don't need anyone to choose my friends for me."

Tom stopped, unsure of what to do. Deep down inside he could feel his hope rising, but he wasn't about to let his feelings get the better of him. He was just thinking of what to say when the captain called him over the intercom.

"Janeway to Paris."

"Go ahead."

"Report to the bridge. We're approaching the Badlands."

They both left and headed to the bridge. Tom was just talking to the Captain about the possibility that the Maquis ship had been destroyed in a plasma storm when Harry said they were being scanned by a tetryon beam."

"Origin?" The captaqin asked.

"I'm not sure. There's also a displacement wave moving towards us."

"On screen." Suddenly they could see the wave on the screen. It was a brownish colour, and it was huge. "Analysis."

"It's a polarised magnetic variation. We might be able to disperse it with a graviton field." Harry suggested

"Do it" the captain replied. "Red alert. Move us away from it lieutenant."

"New heading, 41, mark 180" the helmsman replied.

"Initiating graviton field."

"The graviton field had no effect." Harry kept his cool in the situation, and Tom was slightly impressed that someone fresh from the academy could stay so un-panicked.

"Full impulse" The captain ordered, trying to get her ship to safety.

"The wave will intercept us in 12 seconds."

"can we go to warp?"

"Not until we clear the plasma field captain." The lieutenant at the helm replied. All the while Tom was just standing there. He had come to the conclusion that he was a bad luck charm, and he should really just stay on Earth, as when ever he entered space something was bound to go wrong.

"Five seconds."

"Brace for inpact"

"Three…"

One word in Tom's head as the wave hit the ship.

Shit


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own no part of star trek...do you really think if I did I'd be writing for free?

Sorry it took so long. This chapter is basically a summary of the first few episodes, with a few cheeky comments, so I'm sorry if it's a bit dull, but the story should get better from now on!

* * *

Secret Hero Chapter three

Suddenly there was a blinding light and the whole ship shook

Suddenly there was a blinding light and the whole ship shook. As Tom lost consciousness he was sure the ship was being torn apart. When he woke up people had been flung everywhere. The ship looked like it had just faced a particularly powerful Klingon battle ship. Bulkheads were lying everywhere, and gas was leaking out of tubes overhead. Several control panels had blown, and there were bodies everywhere. The captain also woke up, and crawled over to her first officer, who was lying dead on the floor. Tearing herself away from his limp body she shouted for a report.

Harry replied. "Hull breach deck 14. Com lines to Engineering are down. Trying to re-establish,"

Tom was moving about the bridge, trying to help the crew.

"Repair crews, seal off hull breach on deck 14."

"Casualty reports coming in. Sickbay is not responding."

"Bridge to sickbay. Doctor, can you hear me?" No response. "Paris, how's Stadi?"

"She's dead." Tom was shocked. He had been in bad situations, but nothing like this. The captain turned to him, a look of complete panic on her face. She had never imagined that her first control mission could go so wrong. Already she knew at least two were dead, and reports of injury were coming in from all over the ship.

And things were about to get a lot worst.

"Captain, there's something out there." Harry spoke.

"I need a better description than that Mr Kim."

"I don't know. I'm reading…I'm not sure what I'm reading."

"Can you get the view screen operational?"

"I'm trying."

The view screen flickered into life; first very grainy, and then a clearer picture appeared. Everyone turned to the screen, eyes wide. There certainly was something out there, but no one had a clue what the hell it was. It looked a bit like a star, and it was firing something in the opposite direction to them.

After a few seconds of looking at it an alarm went off at Harry's station.

"Captain, if these sensors are working, we're over 70,000 light years from where we were. We're on the other side of the galaxy." Harry said sceptically. Surely the sensors were wrong…but then again if they were near the alpha quadrant then what the hell was the thing in front of them?

Now no one had a clue what to say. Tom was just wishing he would wake up and find that the last few years had all just been a dream. He wanted to be back on Earth, even if that meant returning to the penal colony. Anything was better than where he was right then.

A minute later they had discovered the Marquis ship, but they couldn't find any life signs onboard. They tried scanning the array, but their sensors couldn't penetrate it.

"What are those pulses it's emitting?"

"Massive bursts of energy. They seem to be directed at a nearby G-type star system." The captain ordered them to try hailing the array, but was then interrupted by a transmission from engineering. Apparently their chief was dead and they had taken heavy casualties, and worst: the warp core might breach. The captain hurried off to help out there.

Meanwhile Tom was helping out on the bridge. Since he had studied at Starfleet he knew all the controls and regulations, and so no one really objected to him assistance, and finally he almost felt welcome.

There was no response from the array, or from sickbay.

Harry and Tom went down to sickbay to see what was happening. When they got there they found a fire blazing and the doctor and nurses dead. Harry put the fire out while Tom checked for life signs. Finding none he gave up.

They activated the EMH, who had a lousy bed side manner. Before they knew what happening they had been roped into being nurses, and helping the doctor out.

Janeway was in engineering when she got a message from the bridge. Apparently they were being scanned by the array, but before she could get any answers the bridge stopped responding.

Suddenly everyone started disappearing.

They found themselves on a little earth farm, with a very hospitable woman trying to feed them lemonade and cookies, however their tricorders told them they were on the array and the people were holograms. Suddenly the neighbours arrived and started dancing and playing music. The crew split up and started searching around for anything that could help them get back to Voyager.

Tom and Harry happened upon a barn, where they detected some life signs. Unfortunately there was a holographic woman with them, one of the locals, and before they could tell the captain about their find she had taken Paris out.

Janeway detected their com badge and ran into the barn, followed by some of the crew, however when they got there they found some of the residents already there, along with Harry and Tom.

"Very well," one of the holograms said. "Since no one seems to care for any corn, we'll have to proceed ahead of schedule."

The back wall of the barn disappeared, showing them a long room filled with beds. On some of the beds were the crew of the Marquis ship. Before they could react the crew of Voyager was transported into the beds and needles were stuck into them.

When the crew awoke later they were back upon Voyager three days later. They were about to pursue the Marquis ship, which was powering it's engines, when Tom noticed that Harry wasn't aboard the ship. When he told the captain she quickly hailed the Marquis and asked if they had him, but Chakotay told her that he hadn't, and one of their crew was missing too. The captains decided that, as they both had the same problem it made sence to try and solve it together.

Three of the Marquis transported aboard Voyager. Those three were Chakotay, Tuvok (Janeway's under cover security officer, who just happened to be a Volcan), and someone else who Tom didn't know. He had walked onto the bridge just in time to see the three beam aboard. As soon as they were on board Janeway approached Tuvok.

"It's good to have you back, Mr Tuvok."

Tuvok turned to Chakotay. "I must inform you that I was assigned to infiltrate your crew sir. I am captain Janeways chief of security."

The third man made a move towards Tuvok, but Chakotay held him back.

"Were you going to deliver us into their waiting hands? Vulcan." Chakotay asked calmly.

"My mission was to accumulate information on Marquis activities, and then delieve you into their waiting hands, that is correct."

Chakotay's eyes suddenly darted behind the Vulcan, and rested on one Tom Paris. "I see you had help," he said, this time colder than before. He had heard all about the accident Tom had had after the kidnapping, and had also found out from a reliable source that the boy's father had decided to conceal the truth from him. When Chakotay had met Tom Paris again the year before in a Marquis base he was shocked by the change in the boy.

"It's good to see you too, Chakotay," Tom walked towards them.

"At least the Vulcan was doing his duty as a Starfleet officer, but you? You betrayed us for what? Freedom from prison? Latinum? What was your price this time?" Chakotay could feel his anger rising. He wasn't entirely sure whether it was Tom or himself he was more angry at, after all if it hadn't been for him Tom wouldn't have turned out this way, but Chakotay hated the man Tom had become. The old Tom would have died to protect his friends, but this man would sell them out for a bed and a warm meal. Before he could insult the man any more Janeway spoke up.

"You are speaking to a member of my crew. I expect you to treat him with the same respect as you'd have me teat a member of yours." Tom could feel a glimmer of happiness rising inside him as, for the first time in a long time, someone stood up for him. "Now, we have a lot to accomplish, and I suggest we all concentrate on finding our people, and getting ourselves back home."

"Based on my initial reconnaissance, captain, I am convinced we are dealing with a single entity in the array. I would suggest he scanned our computers in order to select a comfortable holographic environment. In effect, a, waiting room to pacify us prior to a biometric assessment." Typical Vulcan longwinded logic.

"An examination?" Tom asked.

"It is the most logical explanation. Why else would he have released us unharmed?"

"Not all of us were". Tom stated simply.

"Break out the compression phaser rifles. Meet us in Transporter Room 2." She turned to Chakotay. "We're going back. We'll divide into teams. Mr Tuvok, while Chakotay and I are looking for Torres and Kim, you find out as much about this array as you can. It brought us here, we have to assume it can send us home. Agreed?" She asked, once again turning to the other captain.

He nodded.

Janeway turned to one of the bridge officers. "Maintain Red Alert. Keep us on constant transporter locks."

They were just about to leave the bridge when Tom spoke up.

"Captain…" She turned around and Tom walked right up to here. "I'd like to go with you." He looked into her eyes to see what her reaction would be.

Her eyes were guarded. "If this is about Chakotay…"

"It's not. I'd just…I'd hate to see anything happen to Harry." As much as he tried to fight it he did care about Harry, and even though he was certain he was going to lose him as a friend anyway he didn't want him to die. Across the room Chakotay frowned. He knew he had no right what so ever to be jealous, but he could hear how much Tom cared about this Kim in his voice, and he could feel the green emotion bubbling inside him, threatening to burst free.

After a second of consideration the doubt cleared in Janeway's eyes. "Come on," was all she said, before walking into the turbo-lift, Tom in quick succession.

When they returned to the array everyone was gone. Tom, Janeway and Chakotay had formed one group, with Tuvok and a Marquis as another. As the two groups met up Tuvok said "There are no humanoid life-forms indicated Captain."

"Kim and Torres are not within tri-corder range. They may not be on the array."

"He can tell us where they are," Chakotay stated, before walking off in a direction towards an old man playing a banjo.

"Maintain com-links. I don't want to lose anyone else." Janeway said before following the man…

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Umm, sorry guys, but I'm kinda getting bored writing this chapter, so basically you all know what happened next. Basically the two crews merged, Chakotay became the first officer, Torres became cheif engineer, and Tom became an officer. Nelix and Kes joined the crew, and they headed off in the direction of the Alpha quadrant. If anyone needs more detail then e-mail me.

Please review! I want at least five reviews before I write the next chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own star trek...yet!

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Secret Hero chapter four

Tom had now been a member of the crew for ten months. Slowly the ship was making its way back to the Alpha quadrant, and in the mean time, roughly 60 years, Tom was expected to play nice and be a member of the crew.

He wasn't!

No matter how he acted people on board the ship still treated him like he was a useless traitor…even the holographic doctor seemed to have more friends than him! In the meantime the two crews were getting along very well. B'Elanna Torres was the new chief of Engineering, and Chakotay was the first officer: something Tom wasn't happy about. He didn't know why when he'd first met Chakotay it'd felt very familiar, but for no reason the man had always been really mean to him. He decided it must be because of his father, and the way he'd screwed up.

He'd always regretted what had happened, but there was nothing he could do about it now. He didn't know why it'd happened; he'd been so down at the time he didn't really care, and it was only because of the fact his friend died that he came forwards. He'd basically lost interest in life, and that was a wake up call. Then he'd been kicked out of Starfleet, and joined the Marquais. When he looked back it was easy to see that where he'd all gone wrong was the night he got drunk and fell off the cliff. From then on his life had fallen to pieces…and now because of that he was stuck on Voyager for the rest of his life, however long that'd be.

Voyagers trip so far had been far from uneventful. They'd already made several allies, and about twice as many enemies. They'd nearly died on many occasions, and had only barely scraped through, though Tom had to say Janeway was a great captain. She'd obviously do anything for her crew, but would still follow the prime directive as much as she could, and when she couldn't she'd take the blame.

So far Tom had made a few friends. Their first day in the delta quadrant Tom had saved Chakotay's life, but the man had still been a pig to him. Of course he still had Harry Kim, and the doctor wasn't too bad. He quite liked Kes, the Occumpan girl they'd rescued, but she had a bit of an over protective boyfriend. To be honest he didn't like the girl enough to actually date her, but he liked winding Nelix up. He'd chatted with several people on board the crew, and once they got ot know him they didn't find him too bad. He'd even hooked up with a guy from one of the maintenance crews after they'd got drunk in the holodeck. The next morning they'd both agreed that they'd better keep it to themselves.

He'd been given the duty of helmsman, and he was grateful for that; he didn't want to end up on cleaning duty or some shit like that. Everyone knew he was extremely qualified, but they seemed to enjoy watching him squirm and salute. Tom was so pissed that even bloody Chakotay (who had no Starfleet training) got promoted over him, though he could understand why.

He was currently sitting at the helm, making some course adjustments for when they left orbit. They were holding some diplomatic meetings on the surface of the globe, but were planning to leave tomorrow. Tom couldn't wait to be flying his ship again. He wouldn't admit it, but when he was flying Voyager he felt completely at home, and peaceful. He could forget about all the rubbish that's happened in his life, and just fly. He could imagine he was ten again, and racing his best friends in their holoplanes, or that he had just arrived at the academy and was showing off to his instructor, or he'd just forget about everyone else on the bridge, and just be Tom.

When he was Tom he was relaxed. He had wondered sometimes if he suffered from split personalities, because it felt like at some times he was Tom, a happy, confident person, whom people seemed to love; but at other times he was this man who was mean, arrogant, and generally a bad boy. Admittedly the latter did seem to get him laid more often, but it was sort of like a defence mechanism, that when he felt threatened the other man would take over Tom's body.

He'd noticed that the more time he spent on the bridge flying, the more he'd be Tom, and the more people would like him. He'd be witty, and they'd laugh. He'd say something, and they'd listen. Even Tuvok seemed to like him sometimes…very rarely.

He'd also felt someone watching him a lot while he was driving. At first he'd thought it was the captain, checking up to make sure he wasn't about to flip and drive them into a plant. He'd been convinced it was her, until he'd turned round suddenly one day, and found himself staring into the slightly surprised looking eyes of Chakotay. He'd quickly demanded a status update, before talking with someone else, but Tom was certain from that point on it was Chakotay's eyes he felt exploring his back.

That just pissed him off.

Obviously the man still hated him. Tom wondered if maybe he'd run over Chakotay's cat in a past life, as that was the only reason he could explain this unusual hatred he felt from him. Sometimes it reminded Tom of the way his father hated him, and that just upset him more; even all this way from Earth he could still feel his fathers disappointment in him.

He was just thinking about all of this when he was brought back to reality by a beeping to his right.

"Tom to engineering. Are you running any tests on the warp drive at the moment?"

"No, but we did this morning. Everything was fine."

"Ok. Sir," He turned to Janeway. "Someone's activating the warp drive."

"Tuvok, track them down and lock them out."

"They're doing it from outside the ship. I've got a lock on them. They've stopped."

"Where was it coming from?" Janeway stood up and started pacing the deck.

"Somewhere on the surface. The east side of the capital. I think they were doing it from a public information point."

"They were trying to set a course to a nearby system, called the Phlerate system." Kim quickly informed the captain. "There are no inhabited planets in that system, and a dwarf star."

"Any guesses why they want us to leave?"

"Maybe they're fed up with us being in their sky?" Tom suggested.

"I think it's got something to do with that missing council member." The captain and B'Elanna had been trying to arrange to trade something for some power couplings, but this planets customs meant that ever trade had to be debated on whether it would benefit their planet or not, which took a long time. They had already been here for a week, but they were pretty certain they were going to get the power couplings. That was until the main debater in favour disappeared without a trace. Now they weren't so sure what was happening.

"I think it would be wise to inform the council of this attempt of sabotage." Tuvok was talking to Janeway, but once again saying everything in the longest way possible. Tom couldn't help but wonder what Tuvok as a toddler would be like.

"Good idea. We'll go immediately. Chakotay, you have the bridge."

"Yes sir." Five minutes later and the shifts switched over. Tom headed to get some dinner with Harry. On the way they were discussing the motives of hacking into Voyager.

"Maybe they want rid of us." Tom (aka captain obvious) pointed out.

"You think? ;The captain's right; it's something to do with the debater. Maybe who ever took him thought we were getting close, so wanted us out of the picture too."

"If they wanted us to go and never come back don't you think they'd blow us up or something?"

"Well they could hardly do that right in front of everybody could they? No, they'd have to take us somewhere more private, and then blow us up."

"but the Yamecko people (the people whose planet they were orbiting) don't have space travel, so they'd have to already have planted the bomb."

They looked at each other.

"You don't think-"

"No. Possibly. Yes!" They stopped in their tracks, before turning tail and running to engineering. Tom made it there just before Harry. "B'Elanna! Run a scan of the hull. Check for any unidentified objects; probably very small ones."

"Look Paris, I don't-"

"We think there's a bomb!"

She shut up quickly then, before turning and doing as Tom ordered. Even with death possibly around the corner he couldn't help but smirk at the fact she was doing what he told her. When he'd been in the Marquais she's been a real bitch to him, mainly because she'd simply followed Chakotay's lead. For that reason he'd always hate her, just like him.

"There's something on the fore-hull! I'm ejecting the plate it's attached to – this could get me in a lot of trouble!"

As soon as she'd ejected the plate she put a tracking beam on it to hold it away from the ship.

"Chakotay to B'Elanna. Why is that a bit of the ship floating off the port bow?"

"We think there might be a bomb attacked to it."

"Please explain your logic."

She looked at Tom.

Taking a hint Tom replied "Whoever was trying to hack into the system wanted us away from their planet, but with that distance it would only have taken us a day at warp 2 to get back, so obviously they just wanted us off their scanner range, and then they were going to destroy us. As they're not capable of space travel because of their beliefs it would mean that the bomb is already attacked, and there is something unknown attacked to that decking plate." Tom resisted the urge to say 'so there' or blow a raspberry.

After a few seconds of silence Chakotay said "alright. Scan it and tell me what it is," before cutting them off.

Harry turned to Tom. "Food now, work later!" With a smirk Tom was following him out to the hall way, just as the bomb exploded. The ship shuddered slightly, as the bomb they hadn't noticed on the aft-hull tore a hole in their deck, before being covered by a force field.

Harry staggered to his feet, and turned to the sound of Tom screaming in pain. When the bomb exploded the ships primary computer functions had malfunctioned, before the secondary backup kicked in, but that time in between was just long enough for the doors to engineering to slam shut with enough force to sever Tom's right leg smoothly through the thigh.

His mind was racing as he saw his blood pouring everywhere. He hadn't registered what'd happened. He noticed that Harry was staggering towards him, though he too had some blood on his face from where he's smashed it hitting the ground. He was just wondering where his leg was when the doors opened again, and there stood B'Elanna Torres holding his leg in the air. The last thought he had before he lost consciousness was 'she hated me so much she ripped my leg off? I wonder what she's like in bed.' And then it was black.

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Hi everyone. I hope you like this chapter! Please review, and the next chapter should be up soon. If you have any questions feel free to ask, and I welcome constructive criticism, but no flaming please!

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	5. Chapter 5

This story is mine, but the characters ar not.

Hope you enjoy!

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He woke to the sound of silence

He woke to the sound of silence. There was a slight tapping coming from the doctors office. As he looked around he noticed some of the ceiling panels hanging awkwardly from the roof.

Thinking back he had a vague memory of an explosion, and then pain and disbelief about-

He sat up and looked at his leg, expecting it not to be there, but was reassured when he saw it firmly attached to his thigh. The doctor, having heard Tom move, came out into the room to check on his patient.

"Ah, Mr Paris. So glad you're back with us." Tom thought about disabling the hologram's sarcasm routines, but decided he quite liked knowing that, although he annoyed him, he annoyed other people more.

"What happened? I thought we found the bomb…"

"You found one of them, but there were four others. Luckily they weren't very powerful, but they did enough damage. Repair crews are fixing everything up, but apparently they don't think the medical bay important enough to fix sooner!" The doctor was certainly very bitter about that.

"If four bombs went off, how come I'm the only one here?"

"Well I already cured everyone else. We sedated you for a few hours while we fixed everyone else up. Then I re-attacked your leg."

"Wait, you're telling me that you just left me? What if-"

"Nothing would have happened. Now stand up while I examine you." Tom complied, and winced slightly as he put weight on his leg. The doctor saw this and rolled his eyes, and Tom wished he could punch him. "Everything seems to be fine. You can go."

"What, just like that?"

"Do you want a full body examination?" Tom thought he heard a hint of hope in the sentence, so hastily hobbled over to the door, turning just in time to see the hologram frown, before he lurched out the door. Not knowing quite what to do he headed straight to the bridge, figuring that they would tell him what happened.

Leaving the turbolifts he walked over to Harry. "What's going on?"

"Tom! How you feeling?"

"The doctor says I'm fine, though the pain in my leg begs to differ, now answer the bloody question!"

Harry snickered. "We sent a shuttle to get the captain, and then started investigating. We discovered that there's some kind of cover up going on. Basically that missing council member was kidnapped before he could tell us something. Then, when the kidnappers realised we weren't going to leave, they tried to blow us up. What nice people these are, hey?"

"What were they trying to hide?"

"This" the captain spoke from behind him, causing Tom to turn and put weight on his leg. The captain saw the pain pass across his face. "Are you alright?"

"Fine, just a bit of pain. You were saying?"

"Yes, the thing they were trying to keep from us was this man here; Waquera Yodam, the missing council member. It turns out that their race has hidden mind powers which some of he council were trying to use on us to manipulate us. Waquera was going to tell us the truth, but they got to him first. Luckily he managed to escape. It's all cleared up now."

"You mean I missed all the fun? Damn." Everyone chuckled. Tom turned to look at the man. He was very tall, about 7ft10, though for his race he was average height. He had yellowish skin, and spiky yellow hair, and Tom was reminded of a 20th century cartoon he used to watch called 'the Simpsons'. His face was very smooth, and his eyes very long grey slits. As Tom looked at him the eyes moved to Tom's. "So you have mind powers? Like telepathy?"

The man smiled warmly, obviously pleased that someone has asked him a question. "Sort of, but deeper than that. I can see into people's minds, similar to your Mr Tuvok, but even more. I can view someone's memories, even ones they don't remember themselves. I can also manipulate people's feelings, which is what my fellow race wished to do to your crew."

"You can see into people's memories?"

"Yes. We are often called upon by other races to help people who suffer from memory loss, or amnesia. We've sort of developed a sense of when people have blocked memories, and can tell just from looking at them."

As he said this he squinted at Tom, smirking. At the same time across the room Chakotay gulped, panicking slightly as he realised the implications of the man's words.

Tom frowned at Waquera as he caught on to what the man was saying, but couldn't remember ever suffering from memory loss…not that he'd remember…now he was confused.

"Are you suggesting I have memory loss?" Waquera nodded.

Tom's eyes widened. "Can you show it to me?" again Waquera nodded.

"Captain!" Chakotay rushed forwards, thinking fast of a way to stop this. "I mean no offence, but we can't let this man fiddle around in Tom's head. Who knows what damage he can do? He could steal all our secrets!"

Janeway frowned, before dismissing Chakotay's worries. "I trust him, and it's Tom decision.

Chakotay turned to Tom, eyes wide and shaking his head. Tom considered it for a second, before deciding that he had a right to know about his past. "I'm doing it…what do I have to do?"

"Just stand there, and relax." The bridge crew watched as Waquera slowly lifted his hand to Tom's face, where he placed his fingers in a way similar to a Vulcan mind meld. He closed his eyes, and frowned in concentration.

Suddenly they both gasped, and everyone watching leaned forwards, anxious. Tom's face had turned shocked, his mouth hanging open, and his eyes screwed tightly shut. Waquera's mouth was also hanging open, though his face seemed more at ease. Tom started shaking.

Barely a minute passed, before they fell apart, both panting. Waquera straightened up quickly, and opened his eyes which were burning.

Tom stayed bent over and shaking. Harry moved forwards to reassure him, but Tom flinched away from his touch. He stayed there for a few seconds, then slowly walked over to Chakotay.

He stood there for ages, and the whole deck was silent, waiting for him to move. Several times Chakotay opened his mouth to speak, but one look at Tom's eyes and his mouth slammed shut, and his eyes turned to inspect the floor. Neither knew what to say, but knew that something had to happen.

Tom reacted first. His hand had a mind of it's own, and it flew through the air and slapped Chakotay round the face. Tom's face stayed impassive, which Chakotay staggered back under the force, still looking at the floor. Tuvok and the Captain moved over to restrain Tom, but Chakotay shouted "Stop!"

The two continued staring at each other. Finally the silence became enough. Chakotay opened his mouth…

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Ohhhh, what's going to happen next? Hope you liked. Please review! I'm not going to submit the next chapter till I've got at least five reviews!

TTFN!


	6. Chapter 6

Chakotay opened his mouth to speak...

Before he knew what he was doing Tom yet again slapped him as hard as he could, sending Chakotay staggering backwards, rubbing the bruise he could feel coming. Tom stood there, glaring at him.

Deciding that she'd seen enough, Janeway walked forwards and grabbed Tom's arm; swinging him round to look at her. "What the hell is going on here?" she hissed, "How dare you disrespect and assault a senior officer?"

Tom now turned his glare on her, and Janeway was surprised at the hatred in his eyes. "How dare I? How dare I?! What about him?" He turned back to Chakotay, who was looking at him through sad eyes.

"Captain." Janeway turned to Chakotay as he addressed her. "I...He's right." Chakotay took a deep breath. "Please don't hate me when you hear what happened, because I swear I didn't know! But..." Another deep breath. "I'm officially resigning from the role of second in command, and ask that you escort me to the brig."

The captain gasped, before asking carefully "On what charges?"

Chakotay stared Tom right in the eyes as he replied "Crimes against Tom Paris, but I'm not willing to disclose what they are without his permission."

Janeway turned to Tom, and asked "are you willing to disclose what these crimes are, or at least what nature they are?"

Tom looked down at his feet, nervously as he replied "I'm not willing to disclose what they are, but they were crimes against my health...my life."

The captain sighed, as she realised that there was no way they were going to tell her what happened, at least not now, but she was horrified at the implication of Tom's words. She was sure there was a simple explanation to what happened, but was going to arrest Chakotay anyway, and sort this out privately as she knew there would already be enough gossip about this.

"Alright, Tuvok take him to the brig. Tom, follow me, and the rest of you," she turned to the bridge crew which were all staring at the scene in shock, "Back to work right now!"

She walked into her ready-room and Tom followed silently. The doors slid closed and the captain turned, sighing when she saw the stony look on Tom's face. Something in his eyes made him look like a lost child, and she felt the need to comfort him, but decided that a professional approach would be better.

"Tom, can you tell me what Chakotay did? Was it an accident? Was it something that happened when you were in the Marquis?" She looked at Tom hopefully, but he simply walked over to the window.

She sighed again. "Are you going to tell me anything?"

Tom was still completely silent as he thought over his life. What had happened was a long time ago, and there was no way he could go back and change things. He couldn't regain his reputation, and he had changed; hardened over the years.

There was also no way he could keep working for Starfleet, because he couldn't keep living a lie. He wanted to be free again, and explore for the first time. He wanted to meet new people and start a new reputation.

As for Chakotay he had changed too. He didn't seem the type to hurt anyone...thought he already had.

Maybe...

Maybe Tom should just drop the charges, as he was going to leave anyway. The damage was done and making Chakotay suffer wasn't going to change anything. The old Tom would have him locked up and pay his debt to society, but the new Tom would let him go as it made no difference, as long as he never had to see him again. Never had to look into those eyes again for fear of the feelings it would unleash.

He made his decision and turned to face the captain, his stone mask still in place. "I will not tell you what he did, and neither will he. I want you to put me down on the next inhabited planet and release him. Is that clear?"

The captain started to shake her head, mouth hanging open in shock. "Tom, you have to think about this. Whatever happened we'll sort it out, but you can't leave."

"I'm sorry captain, but I have to go. Voyager isn't a home to me anymore...I'm sorry." And with that he walked out of the room, and went straight to his room to pack. He checked their flight plan and found that they were going to be passing a trading planet in two days, so he planned to be left there.

He was about to go to bed when he suddenly realised that the captain would never actually let him go. No, if he was going to get off this ship he'd have to take matters into his own hands.

While Tom was sleeping the rest of the crew was in uproar. By now everyone had heard about the incident on the bridge, and Chakotay was in the brig.

Generally people were confused, and were sure that it must be a misunderstanding because there was no way that Chakotay could have intentionally hurt Tom. They thought, like the captain had, that it was some kind of accident, but surely Chakotay wouldn't have acted that way if it was. The witnesses of the incident had all sworn that they saw guilt in his eyes.

The captain had called a meeting of all the senior staff about what to do about Tom's request, and so far they were all agreed that they couldn't let Tom leave.

"Obviously he wasn't thinking straight when he made that request! We're his home, his family! He can't leave us." Harry paused. "We need to find out what Chakotay did to him, and then we'll know what to do."

"But the problem is that neither of them will talk. Chakotay won't say a word until he's sure Tom's spoken to us." Janeway sighed, and walked to the window. "Whatever happened between them it was big. Does anyone have any idea about what it was?" No one spoke. "B'Elanna, you've known him the longest, have you got a theory?"

"Well...I was there when they first met, or at least I thought it was the first time they'd met. Chakotay was always kinda rude to him, but he said it was because he'd heard stories about him and didn't like his attitude. But..." She looked around nervously. "It's possible that something happened between them."

"What do you mean 'something happened between them'?" Tuvok asked.

"Well, you all know that Tom's a bit of a flirt, but so is Chakotay, and...it's possible they may have 'had a thing' if you get what I mean."

Realisation dawned on their faces.

"You mean that it's possible that Chakotay and Tom had a...sexual relationship?"

"Well I guess so. They never seemed to get on but that could be what Tom forgot-" She froze.

"What? What is it?" Harry was worried by the look on her face.

"Well it's just...No, Chakotay's not like that, but...maybe he sexually assaulted Tom and that's what he forgot..."

"No. I'm sure that's not possible. It's more likely that this is all a misunderstanding...maybe about a drunken fight or something." The captain sighed. "We have to get one of them to talk. Maybe if we-"

"Captain," I voice called over the comm. "someone's launching the delta-flyer. It- It's Tom Paris."

"Get a tracterbeam on him now!"

"It's too late; he's gone. I'm sorry"

"Silence filled the room at the prospect that Tom was gone for good. "Even if we follow him, we'll never catch him up. It would be highly illogical to chase him. I believe he'll return to us eventually."

"I hope you're right Tuvok. What about Chakotay?"

"It was Mr. Paris' wishes that he be released when he left, so he should be given back his post. Maybe he'll tell us what happened then, but even if he doesn't I believe he's trust worthy enough to be reinstated."

"Agreed. In hope you're right about Tom. In the mean time see if we can track him. Maybe he's try to contact us."

Chakotay had been horrified to hear about Tom's escape, and tried begging the captain to go after him, but to no use. He had accepted his old job back, but only because she'd promised to let him be in charge of tracking Tom. He'd set Seven to the job of finding any clues about his whereabouts. They had returned their guest back to his home planet, though he'd refused to be in the same room as Chakotay, which had again led to speculation amongst the crew, but he didn't care. All he could think about was Tom, and how he'd once again hurt him. He honestly didn't know about the plot to hurt him. He'd supplied the kidnappers with weapons, as was his job within the Marquis, but he'd never questioned how they'd use them. It was only because he over heard them talking about the plot that he'd been able to rescue Tom. It was pure luck on Chakotay's part that he'd been able to copy the Starfleet database, and he only did it because he knew he'd get in trouble for foiling another plot.

The problem was that as soon as he'd set eyes on Tom he'd felt this overwhelming urge to protect the young man, and when he left Starfleet headquarters he'd already decided he'd come back and talk to the boy. The problem was that by the time he was clear to visit it was about a year later and the accident in the science lab had already happened, and he'd heard rumours that his Tom had changed. When he'd first met the new Tom he hated him. His poor unprotected Tom had turned into a spoiled drunk, and he could barely stand to look at him; mainly for guilt that it had been his people that had turned him into this monster.

It was only when he'd spent more time with Tom on Voyager that he'd seen that his Tom was still there, just buried deep within the man, and although he knew he'd never be the same, he could stand the man knowing that his innocence wasn't completely gone.

How once again he was in pain, because his Tom was back, but not with him. He'd seen it in the man's eyes; the burning passion that he'd seen the first time they'd met, and his heart had clenched with hope. Though now his world was shattering at the fact it was him that drove Tom off alone into this unknown quadrant and he'd do anything to find him.

After two months of searching it was clear that the crew was losing hope of ever seeing him again, and the moral levels were plummeting, much to Neelix's chagrin.

He himself hadn't given up, and neither had those close to Tom, though it was clear that they all still wanted to know what had happened between the two. He'd almost confessed everything to the captain one day when he'd felt especially bad, but he knew that Tom wouldn't want them to know so held his tongue.

They had just stopped to gather some food when they'd run into a man selling something that looked remarkably like pizza. Seeing this Harry had approached him and asked what they were called. The man had told him that they were in fact pizza's and that a passerby had shown him how to make them in return for some maps, and ideas of good places to visit. According to this salesman there was a good chance that Tom was in the next section over, which was notorious for it's party district.

Harry had reported all this to the captain, and they'd set a course.

Chakotay led an away team down to the surface, and they quickly split up to search. The planet was about half the size of Earth, and only inhabited in one third of that, but that still took a lot of searching. They'd managed to track down the human life signs to a city called 'Passionate nights'. Apparently the whole planet had been built for partying. There were three different main cities, and almost nothing else. Everything was imported to the planet, and there was only a very lose government system. The city called 'Nights Romantic' was the most respectable of the three, and was usually where the more posh guests went. There were still scandals, but they were better concealed. The second city 'Party nights' was basically a giant rave, and was where the younger guests would go. You could always find someone to spend the night with, and plenty of places to while away the days. It was the third city however that was frowned upon. There were still plenty of parties, but this was the lowlife's place. It was filled with drug addicts, whores, and criminals, and apparently Tom Paris.

Chakotay despised the city as soon as he step foot on it. Looking around all he could see where walking corpses, and he hated the idea of his innocent Tom walking these streets.

They had already been searching for three days without any sign of Tom, who had somehow managed to set up a scattering field so they couldn't pin point his life signs. They had tried asking around, but had quickly learned that no one was going to talk to uniforms, so now they were all dressed in casual clothes. So far they had found plenty of drug addicts, several dead bodies, and no one who gave a damn. Once again people were giving up hope of ever finding Tom, and one rumour was that there wasn't any scattering field, and that Tom Paris was dead. Most of the crew refused to believe this, but there was always those whispering voices following Chakotay as he walked along the deck.

The captain was really worried; not just about Tom, but also about her first officer. The man was hardly eating, never sleeping, and wouldn't talk to anyone. The doctor had already tried to force him into a check up, but he'd refused, and ended up spending a night in the brig. Because of this she made a decision and called Tuvok and Chakotay into her ready room.

"Chakotay, how are you?"

"I'm fine, but I really must get back to the search."

"I'm sorry, but I'm handing this mission over to Tuvok-"

"What?! You can't do that!"

"You're to report to sick bay immediately, where you'll stay for the next few days. I'll keep you informed about the search but-"

Once again she was cut off by Chakotay grabbing her arm, and twisting her to face him "Catherine, please don't do this! I have to find him, please, you don't understand..."

"Release the captain now, or I'll have to escort you to the brig"

Chakotay let go of the arm, and closed his eyes. He was pained by the idea that he wouldn't find Tom and no force existed that would keep him from his search.

"If I don't understand it's because you won't tell me anything! Please Chakotay, I can't help you unless you tell me."

Chakotay looked down at his feet. "I can't tell you. I'm sorry. I'll report to the doctor immediately. Please..." He looked up right into her eyes, so she could see the pain there. "Find him."

Janeway nodded, and waited for her first officer to leave before turning to Tuvok. "I don't believe he'd give up that easily. Keep your eye on him."

He nodded, turned, and walked out the door. Janeway had just turned back to the window when he walked back into the room. "I'm sorry captain, but Chakotay has just beamed down to the surface, and we can't get a lock on his life signs."

She sighed. "I knew he'd do something like this. Leave him. He'll return when he's ready. You are dismissed."

Down on the surface Chakotay was still searching. He was walking along one of the darker streets when suddenly he saw a man in a hooded jacket, and knew it had to be Tom. The man was walking quickly into a rundown building, and Chakotay quickly ran after him, pausing only when he saw the sign hanging above the door.

The sign was a swinging piece of wood, and had the symbol he'd grown to know meant whore house. Wide eyed he continued after Tom, and finally found him in a room on the second floor; topless and lying on a dirty bed.

Tom didn't look surprised in the slightest to see him, and Chakotay realised he must have known he was being followed.

"Hello sir. What can I do for you today?"

Chakotay briefly wondered if he was even recognised because he couldn't believe that Tom had just spoken to him in that suggestive manner, but this thought was quickly dismissed when Tom continued speaking.

"Where's the rest of the crew? Will they be joining us, or do when have some time to be alone?" He shuffled along the bed until he was on the edge before standing, and walking over to Chakotay who stood frozen to the floor. Tom closed the door, before standing in front of Chakotay, smirking.

Suddenly Tom shoved Chakotay into the now closed door, and pressed his body firmly against the taller mans. He leaned up to Chakotay's ear, and whispered "What is it you want sir? Do you want this?" His hand snaked down to grope Chakotay's crotch. "Or have you already had that? Tell me commander, while I was being held captive, did you rape me? Or was that someone else?"

Chakotay tensed, but Tom just kept going, all the while his hand was gently rubbing Chakotay's crotch, and the man hated to admit he was getting slightly hard. How many times had he imagined Tom doing this to him? But not like this.

"Now I can remember everything that happened in those caves. At first I thought it was a prank, or maybe some kind of academy test, but when they started hitting me I was sure it wasn't." Tom was barely whispering, but Chakotay heard every word clearly. "And then when they first suggested raping me I didn't know what to do. It hurt so much every time one of them would penetrate me. Do you know what that felt like? Do you even remember what I felt like as you pounded into me?"

Now Chakotay could move, and he quickly detached Tom from himself and ran to the other side of the room, breathing deeply. He certainly never knew they'd done this to him! No, this can't be happening. Not to his Tom. Not to the beautiful man who was casually leaning again the door, a smirk on his face. Tom pushed off from the door, and started making his way towards Chakotay, while his hands undid his trousers. "If you can't remember you can have me again. I'll even do it for free, just for you." He pushed his trousers down, and was left standing completely naked just in front of Chakotay. "There's just one thing I want to know." He grabbed the front of Chakotay's shirts and flung him on the floor, before climbing on top of him, and leaning his face down so he was just inches away from Chakotay's face, while he was grinding his hips into the man's crotch and his ever-growing hard on.

"All that time on Voyager, how come you never did it again? Because the thing is," Here he leaned even further down, so his lips were brushing Chakotay's. "I wouldn't have complained." And with that he kissed him brutally, desperately and so passionately that Chakotay couldn't help but wrap his arms around the man and pull him tighter. He'd wanted this for so long. To hold Tom, to kiss him, to love him...

But there was no love in this embrace. Chakotay could feel how angry Tom was towards him. Tom's lips were punishingly pressing into his, and his hands were clawing at his clothes and any parts of his skin they could get at. Tom didn't love him, didn't even like him. This was his way of punishing Chakotay, and he had no idea just how much pain this was causing the older man. Chakotay was just about to push him off when the door banged open and another man walked in, who stopped when he saw them.

"Hey! This is my appointment!" The man was around Chakotay's age (in his forties) and had light green coloured skin and deep blue hair which reached down to his pointy ears. He was on the large size, and the trousers he was wearing were only just staying done up.

"I'm sorry sir, this man was just leaving." Tom stood up and walked over to the man, who was now sitting on the bed. He kneeled infront of the man and started to undo his trousers. Chakotay stood up, and watched in shock.

"What are you doing?!"

Tom turned to look at him, with his eyebrow quirked. "My job, now please leave." He turned back and smiled at the other man, who simply looked down at him like he was a dog. Tom then leaned forwards, and right infront of Chakotay's eyes took the other man's penis into his mouth and started to bob his head up and down on it.

Running forwards Chakotay roughly pulled him off the offending appendage, and backwards so Tom landed on his bum. "What the hell?! No, you're coming back to the ship with me!" He made to grab Tom's arm but he pulled away and turned to look at Chakotay furiously. "You are not my commanding officer, nor do you own me, and you certainly have never paid me for any pleasure you have taken from my body, so get the fuck out right now or so help me I will shoot you!" He walked over to his clothes and pulled a laser gun from it. It wasn't a standard issue weapon, so he must have bought it while he was away from the ship.

"Tom, please, just come with me! Don't do this to yourself!"

"Do this to myself? So it's alright for someone to do this to me, but I can't do it willingly? Ha! You're one screwed up guy!"

"I never raped you! I swear I had no idea they did that to you! I wasn't the person who kidnapped you. I overheard them talking about it, so I found you and took you back! You have to believe me!"

"Oh, and I guess the Starfleet records just magically disappeared then did they?"

"I had to take something back or they'd be furious with me! Please, come with me back to Voyager and we can talk this through!"

Tom took a deep breath and looked at Chakotay. He really was a good actor, but Tom knew he was lying. He'd always seen the way Chakotay had watched him, and he knew it was because the man wanted him. He just hadn't realised he'd already had him. His eyes met Chakotay's and once again he smirked, before walking over to the man on the bed, swinging his hips as he moved. He turned once more to look at Chakotay as he said "no", before he pushed his client backwards onto the bed, climbed on top of him, and slowly lowered himself onto the man, impaling himself as he went. He didn't even look up as he heard the door slam shut, but just kept bouncing, and holding back the tears that threatened to leak from his eyes. Under him his client moaned and panted, and Tom let his mind wander as he did his job. This was who he was now, and he wasn't ever going back!

Chakotay wandered the streets for hours thinking about what to do. It was all his fault, and he knew it. He'd driven Tom to this, and now he couldn't get the image of Tom's naked body slowly moving up and down on someone else's shaft out of his mind.

Tom was so beautiful, and so innocent that every man in the city would want a piece of him, and there was no way Chakotay would let that happen! Working it out Tom could only have been working there for under three months, but he'd seemed so at home doing it. Like it didn't bother him at all. And the look on his face when he'd...

No, don't think about that. What are you going to do?

As he turned the corner he caught a glimpse of Starfleet uniform, and ran towards it. It was Ensign Reed and Ensign Hayge, from security. He run up to them, and shouted for them to stop.

"Commander Chakotay, sir." Ensign Reed seemed extremely surprised to see him, but Ensign Hayge took over for him.

"Sir, we've been ordered to escort you to the ship if we find you," He took his weapon from it's holster, and muttered quietly. "Please come quietly."

Surprising them both Chakotay simply grinned at them, and replied "I was hoping you'd give me a lift!"

And that's another chapter done. Sorry it took...ages. I moved house and started a new school, so everything got a bit hectic, sorry!

Hope you enjoy. Next chapter up sooner...even faster if you R&R!

TTFN


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